Most of the talk surrounding Grand Theft Auto these days revolves around the juggernaut that is GTA Online. However, the fifth game in the series also includes an incredible single-player story that follows Franklin Clinton, Michael De Santa, and Trevor Philips as they cause chaos all around Los Santos.

The campaign is great for many reasons, with one of the primary ones being its excellent writing. From satirical comments to outrageous rants to surprisingly profound musings, the game is filled with an abundance of brilliant lines. The three leads deliver most of them, but their ridiculous associates spout their fair share of fantastic quotes too.

Updated on March 29th, 2021 by Scoot Allan: Rockstar Games hit continuation of the long-running Grand Theft Auto franchise has maintained a lasting presence on the market due to the replayability of the game's single-player campaign as well as the dedicated player base of Grand Theft Online. While there are a number of reasons for the ongoing success of Grand Theft Auto V, a lot of the continued fascination with the fifth entry is the well-developed characters that lead the game and the hilarious lines they drop over the course of their various heists together. So today we are going to celebrate some of our favorite characters and their best quotes that keep us coming back to Grand Theft Auto V's campaign.

15 "You Forget A Thousand Things Every Day, Pal. Make Sure This Is One Of 'Em."

While the heist crew that forms over the course ofGrand Theft Auto V's story campaign doesn't really have a leader, Michael de Santa (voiced by Ned Luke) plays a unique role in the group as Franklin's stable mentor who begins to teach him the tricks of his trade.

One of those skills is the ability to intimidate the people they encounter on the job so that they can manipulate them and make it through the heist without killing anyone. Michael uses this particular line a couple of times in the game to deter civilians from getting involved further, which works well.

14 "Don't You Ever Not Tell Me Things I Wanna Know!"

Trevor Philips (voiced by Steven Ogg) is one of the most dynamic characters ever introduced in theGrand Theft Auto franchise, though he is also one of the most confusing given his sometimes contradictory behavior and attitude. This is usually best displayed through his interactions with the employees of Trevor Philips Enterprises like Wade Hebert and Ron Gronkowski.

He tasked Wade with finding out information about his former partner Michael, though Trevor snapped on Wade and punched him after receiving the news, showcasing Trevor's unpredictable nature early in the game.

13 "If That's Our Standard For Goodness... Then No Wonder This Country's Screwed."

Players have a number of available activities for each character to explore in between heists that range from fun recreational sports to dates with various romantic options. However, when playing as Michael de Santa, players can also stop in for his weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Isiah Friedlander.

One of Michael's sessions with the usually distracted doctor touches on his son Jimmy, who Michale derides for his lifestyle that is also a tongue-in-cheek jab at some possible fans ofGTA. "He sits on his ass all day, smoking dope and jerking off while he plays that fucking game." It' wasn't quite the "standard for goodness" that Michael looked for from his country.

12 "It's Either This Or Dealing Dimebags. The Bullets Come Crackin' At Yo Ass Either Way."

Franklin Clinton (voiced by Shawn Fonteno) was the third protagonist ofGrand Theft Auto V that players spend most of their time with during the early moments of the game. Both Michael and Trevor take him under their wing as the third member of their heist crew, though they each have different teaching styles.

When Michael reveals he's probably not the best role model for Franklin, his response showcases that his life before Michael was filled with the same issues. So at least they got to deal with their problems together for a greater payday than his drug-dealing days.

11 "I'm Cranked Out On Speed Most Of The Time, But I Am Productivity Personified."

TheGrand Theft Auto franchise explored a few different criminal archetypes over the course of the franchise that ranged from mobbed-up car thieves to Russian gangsters, though Trevor Philips introduced a new element into the franchise as a "methhead" criminal.

However, as Trevor himself declared to Ron about his productivity levels, even though he was frequently high on speed, he still accomplished a good day's work. Even if that day's work included torching a rival biker gang or taking down military cargo planes.

10 "Go To College. Then You Can Rip People Off and Get Paid For It. It's Called Capitalism."

Satire has always been a big part of the Grand Theft Auto series. And in this quote, not only does Michael take a stab at capitalism, but he gives Franklin some nice life advice in the process.

When he says this, De Santa is still a retiree who has moved on from his life of stealing, killing, and all-around destruction. Although, from this quote, it's clear that he thinks people who live within the laws aren't any more honorable than the crooks he used to know.

9 "Scooooter Brother!"

Many of the game's best moments come when switching control to Trevor, as he's often doing something outrageous. In this case, he is riding next to someone, and they're both on scooters, which leads to him shouting "scooooter brother!" in a silly voice.

The line would be funny on its own, but the fact that it's a re-creation of a GTA IV fan-made video makes it even better. Rockstar loves to make references to all things pop culture, but it's a nice surprise to see them pay tribute to a YouTube video.

8 "So You Giving Me A Lecture About Not Being A Good Enough Gangbanger?"

Most people's friends and family would try to stop them from getting involved with gangs. Franklin's world is different. In one scene, his best friend Lamar and his Aunt are on his case because he has not been participating in gang activity.

Clinton uses the quote in question to point out how ridiculous their complaints are. Especially as his Aunt claims that his mother would be rolling in her grave because he has moved away from gang life.

7 "When There's Some S*** To Be Won. Godammit, I Want It."

This is just the first line of a classic profanity-filled rant by Lamar. He's angry because Simeon has named Franklin as the Employee of the Month at the dealership.

Lamar says many crazy things during the game, but this one is oddly inspiring. Yes, he does come off as a bit of a sore loser, but at least he cares about succeeding at whatever he's doing. Plus, the rant is hilarious.

6 "Surviving Is Winning, Franklin! Everything Else Is Bulls***! Fairytales Spun By People Afraid To Look Life In The Eye! Whatever It Takes, Kid! Survive!"

Not every quote in the game is funny; some can be serious. This one, in particular, is pretty somber. Especially as Michael says it minutes after he and Franklin have killed Trevor in an optional ending to the game.

It's no surprise to see De Santa spouting this sort of quote. Ever since selling out his old crew back in North Yankton, Michael has always put him and his family's survival above all else. It's just unfortunate that he tries to get young Franklin to make self-preservation his main priority too.

5 "What Kinda F****** Animal Do You Take Me For? No, I Didn't Kill Him! But I Did Kidnap His Wife."

After acquiring some files for Martin Madrazo, Trevor goes to his house to deliver them. Later on, he explains to Michael that there was a payment dispute upon delivery. He then gets offended when his friend asks if he killed the man, and excitedly states that he only kidnapped his wife.

It's Philips at his crazy and comical best. The delivery of the quote in question is particularly brilliant. And Michael's distraught reactions make the whole thing even funnier.

4 "I'll Swing By And Sign The Contracts, Alright? Just Ignore The Bodies!"

Trevor is both a cold-blooded killer and a businessman. Unfortunately, those two aspects of his life sometimes overlap. That is the case when he is trying to finalize a deal with Mr. Cheng. He intends to show his possible new business associate around his meth lab, but the place gets attacked by some Aztecas.

Philips puts Cheng and his translater in an icebox for safety then wipes out the invading gang members. After he sets them free from their cold hiding place, he tells them he'll swing by to sign the contracts and to ignore all of the corpses around. The way he casually says it like it's an ordinary situation is hysterical.

3 "Look, You Wake Up One Day And Your Legs, They Just Give, And You Just Can't Run Anymore."

Michael delivers these deep words as he tries to explain to Franklin why he screwed over his old crew. It's usually hard to forgive a character who selfishly sells out his friends, especially when one of the people he hurt the most plays a major part in the story.

However, with quotes like this, GTA Vdoes an excellent job of making players sympathetic to what Michael was going through at the time. The line is given extra meaning in the ending where Clinton kills De Santa. This is because the younger man paraphrases these words after betraying his mentor to save his own skin.

2 "I Said Something Nice, Not Expensive."

Once Trevor meets Franklin's aunt, he immediately starts flirting with her. She is charmed initially, especially when he hands her some money to buy something nice. Though she gets annoyed once she realizes he's only given her seven dollars.

Trevor then responds brilliantly by saying "I said something nice, not expensive" before further insulting Denise. He is technically correct, though it does blow his chances of ever becoming Franklin's uncle.

1 "You, Trevor, Are The Proto-Hipster."

While going tomeet Lester at Paleto Bay, Michael and Trevor engage in a hilarious conversation. It starts once Michael claims that Trever is a hipster because of where he lives, how he dresses, and pretty much everything else about him. Philips strongly denies it and says that he hates hipsters.

The back and forth between the two of them is incredible as Trevor gets progressively more angry as the discussion goes on. In the end, Michael concludes that Philips is the sort of hipster others aspire to be, aka the proto-hipster.

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About The Author

Ben Jessey (88 Articles Published)

Ben Jessey spends all his time playing video games, watching TV, watching movies, watching football aka soccer (which I guess counts as watching TV) or writing about those things. He has a degree in Film and Television studies and is now a freelance writer.

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